When I was asked to write about not drinking, I thought that I should wait for a big milestone and put a kick ass photo with it. Then I decided … Nah! Just do it now, as being present in the moment is what it is really all about. So, at the time of writing this I have been alcohol free for 113 days.
Back in November 2020, I was aware that drinking wine was not as fun as it had once been. I was questioning why I would go from waking up in a morning with an absolute resolve not to drink that evening, only to be popping a bottle in my basket at the supermarket on my way home. Well, I did have to pop in to buy a jar of Tahini and some much-needed Spirulina so it made sense to get the bottle on offer with the gold crisscross mesh… And so, the excuse cycle continued.
I was having a particularly tough time at work and was facing surgery in the January. I ran and worked out but I knew that for the operation, I had to be as physically and mentally as strong as possible. To do this, I had to press a big reset button on the booze.
I had joined Facebook groups when I gave up the smokes and so started to look at groups and pages about cutting down or quitting drinking completely. What I found really surprised me. I wasn’t the only person waking up at 3am feeling jittery and guilty. There seemed to be lots of people feeling anxious and linking it to drink. People were counting day ones and discussing how terrible they felt when they couldn’t get past them. I realized that drinking too much and too often was a more common problem than I had ever thought, and it made me think that my wine time was up.
I had thoughts of, “Oh but it’s Christmas!” and felt quite panicky about the thought of how the future would look without alcohol.
I read a shed load of quit lit books, of which there are many, and I listened to podcasts. That is when I came across Over The Influence which I binge listened to one Sunday.
Shazza and Freddie were so positive and enthusiastic about their experiences and I also became addicted the story of Background Ben and how he went from being a drinking producer (20 in 2020 for those in the know) to him himself going for the alcohol-free life. I looked at the website and got in touch and from there joined a small group of people who were doing their own versions of giving drink a rest. The zoom meetings and what’s app groups are fun… Heck, I even sold my campervan via them but that’s a different story!
The first month I managed to do all the jobs that I needed to do around my house to get it ready to go on the market. All the things I had been putting off and complaining about. I improved massively some important relationships and I have set aside a few that turned out to be not so important after all.
Even in a pandemic I have managed to virtually make some new friends and I am really lucky that I have a friend already who doesn’t drink, Recovery Ruth (everyone needs one). My skin and hair are improving and I no longer make (as many) bad food choices. The sleep I enjoy now is truly amazing compared to when I was drinking. I run, cycle, workout, walk and now I am exercising my brain by doing a course to become a personal trainer. I am the fittest and healthiest I have ever been at 46.
During these same 113 days, life has thrown me citrus fruits. I have been made redundant and I am facing hormone treatment before another surgery. When these bad things have happened, I genuinely have been grateful that I haven’t been drinking.
A few people have contacted me and asked me questions about stopping and even said that they are envious. The questions are always the same. How much did you drink? Did you have a problem? Will you ever drink again?
I know that they are asking to compare their own drinking and I feel excited for them that that they can experience some really good stuff if they are just brave enough to give it a try. As for the question about never drinking again, I don’t really answer that for now and I don’t have to.
To be continued…
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